The Rainbow Baby by Elizabeth Sterling
Many of you know, but I am sure there are a few of you out there that will be delightfully surprised to learn that John and I are expecting a baby in April. Needless to say, we are delighted and feel really blessed to be giving another opportunity to be a mommy and daddy in the physical sense again. Thousands of years ago the Psalmist (Psalm 127:3) wrote “Children are a gift from God.” And I am sure most parents agree that to be blessed with the gift of a child is an incredible blessing.
Tuesday night, we heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. And I have felt the baby moving A LOT for the last two weeks or so. This baby is a real wiggler. Bennett was also. I remember being amazed by the contortions I could see occurring when I was pregnant with Bennett. Of course, all this is really encouraging, but at times it is really hard too because of all the memories it forces me to face. I think it is God’s perfect timing to allow me to deal a little more with the grieving that has to be done for Bennett.
Some of you may recall that on Bennett’s birthday 6 months after his death, God promised John and I that we would have another child. We were driving home from spending the day at a State Park a few hours from our house, and for the first time John and I talked about whether we wanted to try to have another child. We even started to talk about names (and for us names are really important we chose Bennett because it means little blessed one). As we were having this conversation, I looked out the window of the car and saw a huge rainbow. I knew right away that it was a sign from God, a promise that we would have the joy of having another child. A little later, my sister-in-law called me to tell me that she had seen the double rainbow on her way home from work. She was so excited I didn’t have time to tell her that I had seen the rainbow also before she told me it was a sign from God that we would be blessed with another child.
Here is link to the butterfly blessing I wrote a few days after that experience and called To the end of the world .
And here we are, a year and a half later one day, and I am pregnant. A little over 3 months ago, John was looking up at the sky, and he saw a rainbow. I knew that was a sign that I was probably pregnant for sure.God gave me the vision that I would get pregnant this July, and I did. God keeps promises. We just have to be patient. The way that my life has been blessed for me blows me away sometimes. God’s love is immense! The timing is so perfect. Just as I face and relive Bennett’s death for the second year, this baby that is growing so well inside me is giving me reason for incredible HOPE and joy. To hear the heart beat of a blessed child inside of me in the anniversary week of Bennett’s death is an incredible gift.
I have done a really good job of learning how to be a mommy in the spiritual realm, and I treasure the intensity my relationship with Bennett and his incredible love. Nothing can replace him in my life. His presence in my life has grown stronger in so many profound ways. And the miracle of the Blue Butterfly never stops amazing me. The Blue Butterfly Fund is really growing into a huge web of love. And Bennett’s spirit is weaving all of us together. I keep finding blue butterflies all over the place! They just pop out at me, especially the last couple of weeks. I hope that you will keep looking for blue butterflies with me and give praise to God for the incredible blessing of the rainbow baby.
Love and blessings~
“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3 (NAS)
“A rainbow is a colorful smile for those with a heavenly perspective.”
God, thank you once again for the incredibly blessings you give each of us. Thank you for the gift of the rainbow baby and for the gift of the little blessed one. Your smile of love and devotion will always remind me to have faith. I love you! Amen.