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6.23.2004 God is good…
All the time!! To borrow the phrase from a local radio DJ, “God is good… All the time!” After 9 months of bliss following the birth of our son, we realized he was not doing the things babies typically do at 9 months old. In the midst of medical testing to determine what was “wrong” with our son and at the same time trying to raise our 3 ½ year old daughter, I was depressed and nearly at the end of my ability to cope. I would often drive home from work crying, wishing for some magic that would sweep me away, so I wouldn’t have to go home. The test results were always normal. For this we were very thankful. EEG, MRI of the brain, EMG, long chain fatty acids, Fragile X, Pradder-Willie, a muscle biopsy, and other tests were performed. So began our life’s journey with a special needs child. He was a good baby and we did not yet understand what our future would hold. But very soon physical therapy started, then occupational therapy and later speech therapy and a special tutor. As the days wore on into months without a diagnosis the anxiety continued to grow. Juggling all the therapies, medical tests, and examinations, 2nd and 3rd opinions, genetic counseling, a 4 yr old and a full time job it all was quickly becoming overwhelming. In the middle of all “my” stress (I didn’t yet know the community of people who’s shoes I walked in) our church offered a bible study. An in-depth 2 year study called the Bethel Bible study. Even though I already thought I loved God and trusted Him, this was the first step God urged me to take toward healing my broken heart. As I read and studied scriptures I began to pray more frequently and felt the stress in my life ease slightly. I also enrolled in a parenting class to help me deal with my daughter who always wondered when her brother would be able to play with her. I truly believe God led me to both of these classes to begin to reveal himself to me. Even though I had a very supportive husband and extended family I felt alone in my journey. Only God could reach me, and He did in a very big way after about a year of the Bethel class. As I drove home from work one day, crying in my depression, God spoke audibly to me, literally causing me to look in the back seat to see who spoke. That was my first reaction. The second reaction came instantly, filling me with a “peace that surpasses all understanding”. I knew it was God himself who told me “It will be OK”. That was all He said and that was all I needed. I felt God’s presence and all consuming love so strongly. I began to cry again but this time they were tears of joy. In that instant I gave up most (probably not all) of my stress and trouble to God and trusted in Him. My feelings of depression soon turned to joy as I began to seek Him and praise Him. All the beautiful blessings that surrounded me everywhere became clear to me. The time leading up to hearing the Lord’s voice I like to think God was carrying me like the familiar poem “Footprints in the Sand” states. Sometime after God spoke to me, He put me down on my own two feet to walk with Him. And I’ve walked with Him ever since. It’s been 10 or 11 years since that pivotal day in my life. And although the journey is not always easy and depression sometimes slips in, I know to take all my cares to God and lay them at His feet. He is always faithful. Always! It is my faith that waxes and wanes, though unintentionally. And it wanes usually because I choose to spend time with others, or other “things”, instead of with Him. But God is always there to pick me up again and carry me for a while before setting me back down. This is my faith walk. And I know it will continue all my life. I feel incredibly blessed to truly know the power of God’s love. And also to have been given two children that have fostered my relationship with the Lord. I thank God every day for both my children (and my husband of course). It was a couple of years later that our son was diagnosed with moderate to severe mental retardation. Since then we have met many marvelous people who walk our same path in life with a special needs child. I am also so very thankful to have been shown all the very small miracles and blessings this world has to offer if only we take time to notice. The simple tasks that children learn are so very beautiful. Sipping from a straw, clapping their hands, swinging on a swing… Our son has made it possible for me to thank God for all of these things that I otherwise would have taken for granted. God IS truly good… ALL the time!!!! He will carry you through each and every trial you face in life. Scripture “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7 “Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5 “So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24 “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 Poems: Footprints in the Sand One night I
dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. The Special Child The child, yet
unborn, spoke with the Father, Prayer Heavenly Father, Lord you are an ever faithful God, full of love and grace for your children. We offer you thanks for every blessing we receive, blessings big and small. And we give you thanks for our tribulations that we might grow in faith and service to you. Amen
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