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5.6.2004 Leaving it in God’s hands “Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” -Proverbs 19:21. I should have this scripture tattooed on my forehead backwards. That way every time I looked in the mirror I would be reminded that I don’t have to try to control everything! Actually I have made great strides in this area of spiritual growth. It all started when we had to make decisions about Bennett’s treatment. I came close to being overwhelmed about making this decision. How could I possibly make a good decision if I was not an expert in pathology, neurooncology, radiation oncology, and neurosurgery? Fortunately, in the midst of my frantic on-line research into all these things, I was drawn to a book on my bookshelf. A friend gave it to me probably two weeks before Bennett was conceived. It was The Prayer of Jabez. Now whether you have read this book or not, you will realize very quickly that this book does not offer solutions to making decisions about brain tumor treatments. What it does talk at length about is praying. The Prayer of Jabez was an important first step prayer for me. “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain.” –I Chronicles 4:10b I prayed this pray repeatedly. I really did not know why I was praying this prayer, but each time I did I felt peace. Then once while I was most confused about our choice regarding Bennett’s treatment, God answered back. He told me to ask people to pray for Bennett. He told me that we should go to St. Jude. I was really excited about getting this advice from God, and immediately I was given three opportunities to directly help others by sharing my hope and optimism. Of course, God never told me that Bennett would be cured, but that was always my hope. From my experiences, I have learned to trust that God will always bless us beyond our dreams if we ask, listen, and obey. What follows are two examples. A friend of mine recently had problems purchasing her first home. She and her husband did research regarding the houses in which they were interested. They thoroughly inspected each home. And she prayed for guidance and even for God to help them get the particular houses in which they were interested. They placed several offers on different houses, and even when their bid was the highest, their bid was rejected. This happened time and time again and became a source of great frustration. They finally resolved to build their own home on a lot of property they liked. At the time, my friend’s husband was pursuing interest in a business partnership. The plan was for my friend to leave her job and go back to school for a career change. A couple of weeks after they adopted the plan to build a house but before any commitments had been made, my friend’s husband decided that the partnership was not going to work out after all. The change in plans has opened up many new opportunities for both of them career-wise. And thankfully, they are not locked into a house contract that would have pinned them to one area! Because I heard how this whole situation unfolded, I can really see God at work here. Go back and read Proverbs 19:21. I recently applied to be part of a national Tour of Hope (www.tourofhope.org) team, which is a cross-country (as in U.S.) cycling event to raise awareness of the importance of cancer research. All along I prayed that God would guide me if this were something I should do. I was selected as a finalist out of 1200 applicants and scheduled for a phone interview. My prayers became more intensely focused as the interview approached. “God, if there is some way I can work for you by participating in this event please make it happen.” Totally out of character for me, I did not prepare for the interview. In fact, I volunteered to help with a church function that left me with a major sleep deficit on the day of the interview. I had a terrible day before the interview and a major headache. When I finished the interview, I realized that I had done a really horrible job. I was not clear and coherent. I did not have information I should have had. But I told myself that regardless of how I did, if God wanted me there, it would happen. I will find out this week if I was selected as one of the 20 people to be on the National Team. If I am not selected, I trust that God has bigger plans for me. If I am, I have a job to take very seriously because God will really have to work hard to pull this one off! And I will be riding 400-500 miles in 9 days. I am leaving it in God’s most trustworthy hands. There is awesome peace in accepting God’s guidance in your life. When things don’t work out the way I want them to, I accept that God has different plans from me sometimes. And His plans are always way better than anything I could have dreamed up! Scripture “ ‘Everything is permissible’-but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’-but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good but the good of others.” I Corinthians 10:23-24 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” –Romans 8:28 * “The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” -Romans 8:26-28* *I have used these scriptures before in other Butterfly Blessings, but they are scriptures that pop up in all places for me. These are scriptures that God wants me to focus on. Quotation “Let us not forget that knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. ... I claim credit for nothing. Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insects as well as for the stars, Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” –Albert Einstein Prayer Awesome Abba God, thank you for taking control. The longer I live, the more grateful I am that I can count on you for guidance in everything I do. I live for you. I leave my life in Your awesome trustworthy hands. Amen.
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