Tune into your heart
On Memorial Day weekend, my husband and I packed up our things to take a kayak trip down the creek that runs behind our house, Penns Creek. As we darted around the house gathering up food, water, extra clothing, I got this feeling in my heart that things were not going to work out for us to go kayaking. I even said a little prayer for help because in my heart I knew that we would need it. Nevertheless, we packed up our stuff and headed down the road to put in.
I had not seen the weather for the day. It seemed sunny from our house. Yet as we got closer to the site where we dropped off our car, I could see that the clouds were building. When we got to the spot to drop off the car, all the spots were filled (which is rare but understandable given the fact that it was memorial day weekend). We drove past the spot and decided to turn around and park in the grass. Just after we got back to the parking area, a man was leaving in his truck. So we took that spot for our car.
We headed up the mountain in our truck loaded with our two kayaks, and it started to rain. By the time we were at the top of the mountain, it was hailing! We sat there for a minute thinking well this will pass, but I finally said, "I'm not going kayaking today." Sure it may have been fine, but when you are given that many signs that it is not, it is time to listen to your heart.
Not less than a week later, I was given another opportunity to listen to my heart. I was scheduled to leave on a trip to support new cyclists in their first century at Lake Tahoe the first weekend in June. About two weeks before the trip, for some reason I did not understand at all, I had the feeling that I should not go. The lure of going somewhere beautiful that I had never been before and the feelings of obligation were too great for me though this time. I went. And I suffered. I developed bronchitis and rode the most difficult century of my life, especially since I was there to support others. Then, to top it off, on the way home I injured my back. When I arrived home last Wednesday, I was beaten, bruised, and completely miserable. Sure one might say hindsight is 20/20, but I had the feeling in my heart two weeks before I left!
All this reminds me of when Bennett was scheduled to have his bone marrow extracted. We arrived at the hospital really early, and just after we got there one of the worst storms in Memphis history struck. It ripped down huge trees and power lines. The hospital lost its main power supply, and Bennett's procedure was cancelled. I knew in my heart that it was because Bennett did not need his bone marrow extracted. (Interestingly, the same day a terrible storm hit our home in Pennsylvania doing the same kind of damage.)
The next day, Bennett had the bone marrow extracted anyway. I did not trust the wisdom and power of my heart then. Or maybe the stakes were too high to act on my heart alone. That bone marrow sits in some freezer somewhere today because it was never needed.
Sometimes the heart speaks in whispers. You have to drown out the loud noise of your mind that says, "Don't be ridiculous." You have to ignore the pulls of your ego that nag you to do something because it is expected of you or because you are afraid of what will happen if you don't. You have to resist taking the beaten path that everyone seems to follow collectively. Tune into your heart. Your heart sings the true wisdom of God.
Love and blessings~
"Test me, O Lord, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;
for your love is ever before me,
and I walk continually in your truth."
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own
"Give all to love; obey thy heart." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of." -Blaise Pascal
Father of Light, fill our hearts with Wisdom. Help us hear the songs you sing quietly in our hearts. Help us become vessels for your Light walking without fear on the path of Love and Truth. Amen.