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February 3. 2004 Calling The last two issues of Butterfly Blessings were very difficult for me to sit down and write. It seems without Bennett in my life, I really do not have much motivation to write, and I do not really seem to have a lot to write about. The way that God is working in my life now is much different from the way God worked in my life before Bennett’s death. There was urgency before as we climbed up and over peak after peak of challenge. Up on the top of a mountain there are few trees to block the light. After you break through the clouds, the light of the sun is always there to guide you on the mountaintop. The same goes with a challenge. God is always there to guide you through the toughest challenges, the highest mountains, that we face in life. And God’s presence is nothing short of amazing in those difficult times. There really are not words to adequately explain it. But now I feel as if I am rambling away long days and long nights on a windy trail through a dark and mystery filled gorge. The light still dapples through the trees in small bursts as I meander along this trail. I feel as though each one of those bursts of light needs to be acknowledged in some way. By recognizing the tiny amounts of light in what seems to be a very dark place and time, I will never lose my way back to the light again. And perhaps if I share my tiny rays of light with others, they will see their own, and the world will become filled with light. And that is really the purpose of Butterfly Blessings. Each time before I sit down to write, I pray. God give me the words that you want me to write. Last week, I sat down with one idea of what to write, but before I had finished writing, the entire subject had changed into something I did not even begin to think about writing. And so it was with many of the Everyday Blessings that I wrote last year. The words I was writing were God-inspired on many different levels. I procrastinated writing this week’s Butterfly Blessing because I was having such difficulty finding something worth writing about. I wanted to sit by the fire this morning before writing and reflect on some of the things that have happened this week (the burst of light if you will). An inner voice told me to just sit down and write. An inner dialog developed in my head “But God, I want to sit here a bit and recollect the ways that you have shone through in my life. I want the comfort of your presence.” I could imagine God replying, “Your making excuses to put off the calling. Just sit down and write.” So here I am writing. Last week, I was very uncertain of whether writing the Butterfly Blessings was a good idea. I do not take credit for the idea. The Everyday Blessings idea actually came from a friend who was hospitalized for months. Her way of facing each day was to find something to be grateful for each and everyday. For her, the blessings could be as simple as the orange jello she got with her dinner or as extraordinary as seeing a rainbow outside her hospital room window several days in a row. The idea for the metamorphosis of Everyday Blessings into Butterfly Blessings came to me in a flash; I believe a divine inspiration. But I am nowhere close to perfect, and learning to trust God in all things will certainly be a life-long lesson in my journey. Immediately, I questioned the value of this calling. Would I have something to write about every week? Would I have the time? Would anyone read them? So last week, I told God to show me that writing Butterfly Blessings would serve a greater good. I told God that if at least two people were helped in some way by reading the last week’s Butterfly Blessing, I would not question this calling any more. Last week, exactly two people wrote back to me and told me that the Butterfly Blessing helped them in some way. When the first person wrote, it was like a tiny ray of light finding a small corridor through a dense canopy of trees in the forest. When the second person wrote, I felt as though I reached a clearing in the forest. This calling brings me closer to the light and love of God. So, here I am writing this week’s issue, and I will continue without questioning from now on until my calling changes. Some weeks, the subject may not really seem to amount to much to you or me. But it may make a difference in the life of someone else. Perhaps, God is calling you to do something with your life to, and I hope that you will trust the voice that is beyond rational thought and reason. Through your calling you will find and get closer to the light and love of God…the greatest blessing of all. There are countless ways that God uses people for the service of Love, and I believe this life becomes fulfilling when we find our calling. For me, at this moment, it is simply… just sit down and write. Scripture: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” –Matthew 5:16 Quotations: “Every calling is great when greatly pursued.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes Prayer: Great and gracious God, let us hold true to the calling you give each of us. Through our calling, let our light shine brightly for all announcing your glory. Continue to guide us and teach us in the service of love. Amen.
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